...and the award goes to.....
ME. FatFran = big greedy fatty fatty.
I've put back on the 1.5lbs that I lost last week. I can put this down to the following:-
Sunday: big fatty fatty dim sum session with my mum, sister and her three children.
Monday: big fatty fatty session with my sister at Da Polpo with lots of delicious booze (god I bloody love Da Polpo - embarrassingly a waiter there totally remembered me from the last time I visited about a month earlier...I do not recall ever laying eyes on him...to be fair, I don't actually remember paying or leaving that night either. Have I told you how much I love Da Polpo? A lot. And they have the hottest waiter that I actually fell in love with last time...apparently called Norbert, which is BRILLIANT.)
Tuesday: big fatty fatty Pizza Express session with the family again. I think that it's becoming clear that my family have RUINED MY DIET.
Wednesday: big fatty fatty steak and chips eating session with @miss_jordi at Le Relais de Venise. HOT DAMN those are some fine chips. And the sauce!! The stuff of dreams.
So I think we can see where it may have gone wrong this week.
Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with me? The whole point of this blog was to keep me on track, to sort of shame me into behaving and to stick to eating healthily. I guess I could lie and pretend that I'm being good, but one of my colleagues is reading and she'd blatantly rat me out. And it kind of defeats the point anyway.
I just don't really understand it. I usually overeat and eat unhealthily like this when I'm feeling really unhappy, but I'm not feeling really unhappy at the moment. I'm going on holiday very soon (although that's a bit stressful in itself - my holiday companion is all petite and gorgeous and the girl that every man falls in love with and rightly so - I'm going to look like a BLIMP) and I've booked tickets to Australia for next year. Things are fairly good right now. Yet I am out of control, I just can't be bothered to behave.
I'm feeling a bit stuck and useless and this makes me sad and I start to self-loathe a bit, because I'm so crap. I know that I can do it - I lost 3 stone in 4 months 3 years ago for the love of god...so why am I not doing it? It's self-destruction and it's getting a bit tired.
You can't do it all on your own - you need your family and friends to help you!
ReplyDeleteFriends and family of Fran (FFF) - next time you all want to eat out go for sushi or other healthy but tasty options. Not Pizza Express, not somewhere that chips will be compulsory. Grrrrr.
That said, you've got to stick to it too, F. What happened to the SW stuff? That was working really well.
I'm going to put on my 'Jo' hat and tell you off on her behalf. I don't care what size you are - I love you as you - but I care that you're unhappy. You can do it, you know that, and I think we should all support you that bit more. Re-read your SW book, dust off the dreaded Shred and get to it! Don't carry on as you are only to get to Oz and feel miserable because nothing has altered - the sooner you start, the sooner you'll feel better about your body.
Meet me for sushi for lunch next?
Don't get downhearted, we all need to splurge now and again. Besides, having your sister visit is clearly a one-off. I'm sure you'll be back on train in no time. Re the skinny friend... is she single? If so, then maybe not ALL the men fall in love with her ;-)
ReplyDelete@ Mrs M - thanks. You're right. I've been a whirlwind of bad decision-making this week (Pizza Express was because my mum had vouchers, Le Relais was because I had a free meal for 2...economising seems to equal naughtiness!)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to take another look at the list of meals that I was *meant* to cook this week and try to Do Better.
Australia is the ultimate goal for FinFran...and YES PLEASE to sushi next week. I miss you - been too bloody long.
@ Gina - really REALLY all the men love my gorgeous friend and they bloody well should too, she's totally amazingly excellent.
Y'know what? I'm having a very similar problem at the moment and I'm an *awesome* dieter...
ReplyDeleteThere are just too many people to see and places to go, suddenly, and they all revolve around Big Food...
I think I shall have to become a recluse again... It's a shame - I'm loving all the friends - but, then, hermitage does look good on me...
If I could ‘like’ the other comments on here I would!
ReplyDelete*stern face* do not beat yourself up. There's is sod all you can do about it now, savour the delicious week you've had, think of the happy times, and draw a line under it – treat it like you would a week on holiday. No sulking, Franksi, capiche?
You do know you can do it, and you've done marvellously so far. The odd shitty week here and there won't make any difference so long as you're heading in the right direction overall. As well as a weekly weigh in, tally it monthly too - if the general trajectory is towards skinny, worry not and carry on.
Chin up and pass the salad, love you lots xxxx
*correction
ReplyDeleteJennie's comment is not as good...no hermitting, now, we've only just met.
LET'S START A SALAD SOCIETY.
Also - could I just say - Norbert? Really truly? I LOVE him!
ReplyDeleteNo hermitage PLEASE Jennie. Can still go out and be good :-)
ReplyDeleteFran, I wasn't dissing your friend, just trying to be positive. I'm clumsy and I failed :-(
Anyway, DON'T beat yourself up, PMA and all that. We are all behind you, and as Shed said, draw a line and approach next week afresh.
@ Miss Whiplash - you've nailed it Jennie. This is EXACTLY it. I am having fun, seeing friends etc etc, but it's just not conducive to drinking and eating less or better. In reality, I am only good at dieting if I'm not going out as much, which is depressing, but a basic fact. And yes, my friend reminded me the other day that he was called Norbert! He was utterly perfect.
ReplyDelete@ Shedola - I'M NOT SULKING *sulky face* Actually I'm not. I'm just terminally cross with myself. Any good work that I seem to do, I just undo. It's POINTLESS. That's a good idea about the monthly trajectory though, I like it.
@ Gina - I didn't think you were dissing my friend, don't worry!
It sounds like you need to be able to combine having fun and seeing friends with eating healthy otherwise its never going to work. Clearly being fin is not worth never seeing your friends. But maybe you can choose healthy(er) options when you go out rather than just thinking oh well I'm eating out, it will be bad, lets just enjoy it? Or just eat a bit less of the yummy stuff and be extra good the day after?
ReplyDeleteI really think you can do it, you need to trust yourself that you can make the right choices, and even if you don't on one occasion all is not lost.
@Mel - exactly. I do need to find a way of seeing friends and still eating healthily...I just haven't quite worked out how to do it!
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point too about the fact that if I'm bad once, then it's not the end of the world. I do tend to work on the basis of "Oh I've f***ed up now, I may as well just carry on f***ing up." This is not helpful and I need to work out a way to break this pattern.
It's interesting that your focus is on looking back rather than looking forwards, and that you don't have an "eating out" plan. Every meal you eat at home, you should now have predefined set of choices (no-one needs too much rigour, so variety is good). Every meal out you should know roughly beforehand what and how much you'll eat. I know this sounds tough, but it's the discipline you get into early on that drives weightloss which then drives feeling *I did that* which then drives more good eating. Even on holiday. I hope I don't sound too haranguing, I don't mean to, I'd just like to see you quickly get into good habits which make you feel more positive about yourself.
ReplyDelete@Nicky - I've spent 33 years self-flagellating, it's a habit that is unfortunately very hard to break. I agree that I *should* look forwards but I don't like to do this as the future looks fairly bleak to me so I choose to focus on Right Now and also Then.
ReplyDeleteEverything you say is absolutely right and I need to get organised and into a more focused mindset. I think it doesn't help that I have a holiday coming up extremely soon and it almost feels pointless to bother when I'm about to go away. Excuses excuses, I know.
Maybe if you are not a natural "forwards" person, you could turn it around to make the most of your preference to focus on the here-and-now or the past e.g. each day you choose a couple of food/drink decisions that you regret from the previous day and make a choice not to repeat them? It might also be interesting while you are on holiday to copy the eating and drinking behaviours of your petite friend. She probably has some good habits (even on holiday!) that you can use to your advantage - slim people often do! Whatever though, do have a lovely relaxing time away :)
ReplyDelete